Flutterfly Invasion

A place for me to squee.

Identity things, let's get them out of the way, cis female, asexualish heteroromanic, physically and psychiatrically disabled. Let's have some fun!

Ask me anything

In Defense of My Friends: The ADA Generation is Not Complacent →


On the 24th anniversary of the ADA, my amazing friends Maddy and Em launched Disabled Girl Talk, an amazing an important and a current discourse on where we’ve been and where we hope to go. Their sharp commentary was quickly and skillfully compounded by Karin of Claiming Crip. The conversation was…

Go Lili. Proud to call Lili, Maddy, Karin, and Em my friends!

Okay, okay, I’m going to tell you what Hermione sees in Ron.

A trio is a balancing act, right? They’re equalizers of each other. Harry’s like the action, Hermione’s the brains, Ron’s the heart. Hermione has been assassinated in these movies, and I mean that genuinely—by giving her every single positive character trait that Ron has, they have assassinated her character in the movies. She’s been harmed by being made to be less human, because everything good Ron has, she’s been given.

So, for instance: “If you want to kill Harry, you’re going to have to kill me too”—RON, leg is broken, he’s in pain, gets up and stands in front of Harry and says this. Who gets that line in the movie? Hermione.

“Fear of a name increases the fear of the thing itself.” Hermione doesn’t say Voldemort’s name until well into the books—that’s Dumbledore’s line. When does Hermione say it in the movies? Beginning of Movie 2.

When the Devil’s Snare is curling itself around everybody, Hermione panics, and Ron is the one who keeps his head and says “Are you a witch or not?” In the movie, everybody else panics and Hermione keeps her head and does the biggest, brightest flare of sunlight spell there ever was.

So, Hermione—all her flaws were shaved away in the films. And that sounds like you’re making a kick-ass, amazing character, and what you’re doing is dehumanizing her. And it pisses me off. It really does.

In the books, they balance each other out, because where Hermione gets frazzled and maybe her rationality overtakes some of her instinct, Ron has that to back it up; Ron has a kind of emotional grounding that can keep Hermione’s hyper-rationalness in check. Sometimes Hermione’s super-logical nature grates Harry and bothers him, and isn’t the thing he needs even if it’s the right thing, like when she says “You have a saving people thing.” That is the thing that Harry needed to hear, she’s a hundred percent right, but the way she does it is wrong. That’s the classic “she’s super logical, she’s super brilliant, but she doesn’t know how to handle people emotionally,” at least Harry.

So in the books they are this balanced group, and in the movies, in the movies—hell, not even Harry is good enough for Hermione in the movies. No one’s good enough for Hermione in the movies—God isn’t good enough for Hermione in the movies! Hermione is everybody’s everything in the movies.

Harry’s idea to jump on the dragon in the books, who gets it in the movies? Hermione, who hates to fly. Hermione, who overcomes her withering fear of flying to take over Harry’s big idea to get out of the—like, why does Hermione get all these moments?

[John: Because we need to market the movie to girls.]

I think girls like the books, period. And like the Hermione in the books, and like the Hermione in the books just fine before Hollywood made her idealized and perfect. And if they would have trusted that, they would have been just fine.

Would the movies have been bad if she was as awesome as she was in the books, and as human as she was in the books? Would the movies get worse?

She IS a strong girl character. This is the thing that pisses me off. They are equating “strong” with superhuman. To me, the Hermione in the book is twelve times stronger than the completely unreachable ideal of Hermione in the movies. Give me the Hermione in the book who’s human and has flaws any single day of the week.

Here’s a classic example: When Snape in the first book yells at Hermione for being an insufferable know-it-all, do you want to know what Ron says in the book? “Well, you’re asking the questions, and she has to answer. Why ask if you don’t want to be told?” What does he say in the movie? “He’s got a point, you know.” Ron? Would never do that. Would NEVER do that, even before he liked Hermione. Ron would never do that.

Melissa Anelli THROWS IT DOWN about the way Ron and Hermione have been adapted in the movies on the latest episode of PotterCast. Listen here. This glorious rant starts at about 49:00. (via karakamos)

*slow clap*

Tagged: harry potterron weasleyhermione granger

Source: karakamos

kayla-bird said: Hello! I recently published Graveyard Sparrow, a queer regency-era romance between a neurodivergent lesbian and a bisexual woman who work together to solve a mystery. Would you perhaps be interested in promoting fictional diversity by reblogging a post about it for the benefit of your followers?


Sounds interesting! I have a friend who loves Victorian & regency-era, feminist, and LGBT stuff, so I’ll have to check it out and see about passing it on to her. http://www.amazon.com/Graveyard-Sparrow-Kayla-Bashe-ebook/dp/B00K4G8OWQ


Tagged: fictionneurodiversityliterature

Source: neurodiversitysci

I work with disabled people so I know more than actual disabled people about disability
— Able proverb (via itrhymeswithalayne)

Source: itrhymeswithalayne

Cousins, ACs, autistics and cousins, autistic cousins, etc.



We used to have a term in the autistic community, we called it ‘cousins’.

It started when Xenia Grant was talking to a guy who had hydrocephalus and had a lot in common with autistic people, but was not autistic.  She took a look at him and happily exclaimed, “Cousin!”

(I like to keep track of who coined terms.  It can be meaningful.  Xenia is the friendliest person I’ve ever met, autistic or nonautistic.  That’s the spirit that ‘cousin’ started in.)

Back when NT meant a nonautistic person, another abbreviation cropped, up, AC.  AC meant “Autistics and Cousins” and covered autistic people and… cousins.  So you’d talk about “ACs and NTs”.  But who were cousins?

Cousins were people with a neurological condition other than autism, but it gave them important things in common with autistic people.  Especially sensory processing, cognitive, and social traits in common with us.

Cousinhood wasn’t something that was based on a condition.  It was based on how that condition worked for a particular person.  So while sometimes we’d talk about ‘cousin conditions’, there was no condition where everyone with it was a cousin.

But some common cousin conditions included:  Tourette’s, hydrocephalus, OCD, schizophrenia, and AD(H)D.  Just as some examples.  Not everyone with those conditions was a cousin, but lots of cousins had those conditions or related ones.

The cool thing about cousin was that it dealt with the ambiguity of life.  It made it so that it wasn’t just ‘us and them’.  There was a broad hazy area around autism where people could be considered in many important ways ‘like us’ without being autistic.

Two people on tumblr that my brain automatically classifies as cousins are karalianne and lichgem.  (That’s assuming they’re not unknowingly autistic, of course.  Some people think of themselves as cousins but turn out to actually be autistic.)  I don’t see them as outside of the circle I draw around ‘autism’ for social purposes, because I draw that circle at the ‘cousin’ level rather than the ‘autism’ level.  

I kind of wish that most identities had this ‘cousin’ thing going, because it would resolve a lot of boundaries that people want to be strict and are not.  It deals with people who are a lot like a certain type of person, without exactly being that type of person.  And it does so in a really friendly and welcoming way.

I know that Tourette’s has a similar but not quite the same idea, called “Tourette’s Plus”.  Where the “Plus” conditions are conditions that people with Tourette’s often have in addition, like autism or OCD.  Not quite the same idea, but similar.

Eventually people started deciding that the problem with ‘cousin’ was that it made ‘autistic’ the center of the neurodiverse landscape, and that this wasn’t fair.  And maybe it wasn’t fair.

But still, I miss the days where you could say “AC” or “Cousin” and people would know what you meant, immediately.  And where cousins were considered an actual inside part of the autistic community, not just “allies”.  I know there are parts of the autistic community where all of this is still the case.  But not nearly as many as there used to be.

So I’m throwing the idea out there just in case anyone likes it as much as I do.  It’s not my idea, I didn’t think it up, it existed long before I even knew there was an autistic community (and I go pretty far back compared to a lot of people these days).  But I think it’s a useful idea, in some contexts, as long as you do keep in mind that autistic people aren’t the center of neurodiversity.

(But honestly I think if all neurodiverse people used the ‘cousin’ idea in their own communities, then it wouldn’t be about autism-at-the-center anymore it would just be a useful idea for people who are very similar to you in important ways without being quite the same.)

Anyway… Karalianne was talking about how she feels sometimes like she can’t even talk about certain things without qualifying them a lot, because she’s not autistic, and she’s afraid of encroaching.  And I remember a time when she was not considered encroaching because everyone knew she was a cousin and that was her place in the community and nobody (that I know of) ever questioned it back then.  And it upsets me that this is not the case anymore.  Because she totally is one of the first people to spring to mind when I think ‘cousin’.

And I wish that Xenia’s exuberant friendliness would somehow infect the term ‘cousin’ once again, because it needs that push.

I honestly think that the concept of “cousin” is part of why I have no problem with people self-diagnosing, like totally aside from all the practical reasons people don’t get officially diagnosed (and the fact that self-diagnosis is often the first step to formal diagnosis). And it’s why, on the ADHD blog, I tell people that even if they don’t actually have ADHD, they should feel welcome if they identify with the difficulties we have, because maybe some of the tricks ADHDers use will be helpful for them. The blog is for people who actually have ADHD, regardless of whether they’re self-diagnosed or formally diagnosed, but I will never turn people away if they have another thing going on that causes the same problems. Executive dysfunction without ADHD is a thing (like, an actual diagnosis); autistic executive dysfunction is often very similar to ADHD executive dysfunction (that’s how I first learned about it and how to deal with it, after all); anxiety and depression can cause executive dysfunction and attention problems. And so on and so forth. Heck, PTSD and brain damage can cause ADHD symptoms and ADHD meds are often really helpful for those people, so our tricks could be helpful too!

I still remember learning certain social skills via ASA. Everyone there was so welcoming and kind (welll, most people were) and willing to share knowledge and explain why people reacted to things the way they did. It was the first place I really felt like I belonged somewhere - online or offline. (Offline came with the love of the NaNoWriMo participants I started herding back in 2005. The faces have changed but I do feel like I belong in the group when we meet in person, and not just because I’m the “leader.”) I miss usenet just for that.

I think part of the change, for me, is that I did shift my focus over the years. I stopped focusing on autism so much. I started focusing more on ADHD. (That makes sense, of course.) I stopped working with autistic children. My life changed, and I changed, and I lost some of the connection to the community that I once had.

And I understand being wary of someone you don’t know. I faced it a lot when I was actually doing ABA for a living. I am wary of people I don’t know, too. I don’t blame anyone for anything, it’s just how it goes.

I do miss the term “AC” because it is a really helpful term to have. It’s better and more inclusive, I think, than “shadow syndrome.” And it gives people more of a sense of commonality and community and inclusion. It says “there are differences but still a lot of similarities and we can relate on that level and we are family.” (Family in the Lilo & Stitch way I think.)

Let’s try this again, since Chrome bugged out.

I feel the same way, like every time I open my mouth I’m encroaching on autistic territory.  I do feel like like some of the ways my brain is wired due to my CP (and the assorted anxiety/depression conditions) is similar to autistics.  And I do consider myself neurodiverse.  So I really really like the idea of autistics and cousins.


Tagged: autismdisabilityneurodiversity

Food doesn’t taste better or worse when documented by Instagram. Laughter is as genuine over Skype as it would be sharing a sofa. Pay attention. Take in nature, hold someone’s hand, read a book. But don’t ever apologize for snapping a photo of a sunrise after a hike, or blogging about the excitement of having a crush, or updating your goodreads account. All of these things are good and should be celebrated. Smile at strangers on the sidewalk and like your friends’ selfies. It’s all good for the human spirit.
cogitoergoblog on Facebook  (via fawun)

Tagged: internet

Source: magicalmatt

Fundraiser: ASL Interpreters at asexuality World Pride conference →


Signal boost!  If you can’t donate, please spread the word.

boost to the boost to the boost boost boost!!!!

Tagged: signal boostingASLasexualityinternational asexual conferenceDeaf

Source: sarabethbrooks

crackedbrain321 said: speaking of asexuals, it is my headcanon that time lords/ladies/others change sexualities upon regenerating.

not always but definitely.  that’s technically canon, the Doctor said in “The Doctor’s Wife” that the Brigadier was a woman in different regenerations -

and wow my brain is fried, mixing up gender with sexuality.  i think the same principle could be applied to sexuality though.



ok so


am i the only one with a jon snow is asexual spectrum headcanon?

cuz when he wants to join the night’s watch everyone’s like “*gasp* but you’ll have to be CELIBATE!!!” like that’s the worst thing in the world and jon snow’s just like “yeah so?”

no spoilers please i’m only a few chapters into the second book/halfway through the first season.

You know, it’s a possibility I hadn’t thought of, but yeah, it totally could be.

Another huge thing I’d factor in, though, is that Jon himself has grown up a bastard, and all the stigma and ostracism and maltreatment that entails.  He could be not eager to risk inflicting that on a lover or a child of his own.

Very good point.

Tagged: jon snowgame of thronesasexualheadcanon

Source: flutterflyinvasion

What Happens When We Say Yes to Radical Self-Love? #WhenWeSayYES Campaign



[Image: against a black background flushed to the right of the image are the words SAY in rainbow colors. Below Say is the word YES in rainbow colors]

The Body is Not An Apology is in a season of tremendous growth, none of which could happen or be sustained without the amazing community of over 33,000 Unapologetic Posse Members in 42 countries around the world committed to ushering themselves and the planet into radical self-love!  On Monday, June 23rd, TBINAA will launch our #WhenWeSayYES crowd funding campaign.  The campaign will seek to raise funds to build our very own online community of information, education, activism, and support around radical self-love, body empowerment, and unapologetic global transformation.

As the Leadership Circle began thinking about the reach and power of this movement, we could not help but be overtaken by the realization that this growth has been a direct result of how each of us in our own lives has chosen to say YES in places where fear would have had us stuck in No. This movement exists because people all over the planet, regardless of age, race, gender, sexual orientation, size, ability, mental health status etc. decided to say YES to the idea that it is possible to love ourselves and one another radically!  WOW!  What tremendous power lives in the big giant global YES!

Now, The Body is Not An Apology wants your story of YES.  We want to know what happened when you said YES to radical self-love! What happened when you said YES to your own power and truth?  What happens when WE say YES as a movement committed to a just, equitable, and compassionate world?  Please share your story with us. It may earn you a featured spot on our social media sites or in our international #WhenWeSayYES video!  Below are the guidelines for how to share your #WhenWeSayYES story with TBINAA and the world.

 Submissions can be:

  • VIDEO. Maximum length should not exceed 20 seconds. Video should be submitted as a quicktime .MOV file.  Need to convert? CLICK HERE
  • AUDIO. Maximum length should not exceed 1 minute.
  • PHOTOS. Highest resolution and largest file possible. Our preference is 400 x 400 dpi if you want it considered for the film.
  • ESSAYS. Between 500 and 700 words.
  • TWEET. Tell us your YES in under 100 characters and they will be featured on our twitter page. You can also send them directly to @RadicalBodyLove

For video, audio, and essays, please include the following language and general theme:

“When I said Yes to ___(fill in the blank, i.e. yes to trusting my body, yes to believing in my intelligence, yes to healing my childhood wounds, yes to trusting my inner voice, yes to radical self-love, etc., etc.).  Then tell us what happened (I got my dream job, I unlocked my creative potential and became an artist, I stopped hiding and took that salsa class, I fell in love, etc. etc.). All submissions should start with “When I said Yes to…”) The last sentence in your video and audio should be “I said YES!

Please be sure to include our hashtags #WhenWeSayYES #TBINAA #Nobodiesinvisible

Please send your submission to submissions@thebodyisnotanapology.com or send files to our Dropbox account sonyarenee@gmail.com.  We are excited to say YES with you!

When We Say YES, We Change the World!

Unapologetic light,

TBINAA Leadership Circle 

proud to have worked with this awesome organization to make their content accessible!!!

Tagged: the body is not an apologytbinaawhenwesayYESnobodiesinvisible